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Let’s Be Real

Let’s Be Real: Choosing to be genuine, supportive & uplifting in our relationships.

Let's Be Real: Choosing to be genuine, supportive & uplifting in our relationships. Great for all moms to read!

A topic that seems to be coming up a lot within different groups of my friends is how hard it is to find friends, especially other moms, that we can be real with.

You know, those women who we can genuinely be ourselves with, pour our heart out to, and not feel intimidated, looked down upon, or judged by.

There’s nothing worse than admitting your shortcomings, your failures, your frustration with your kids, and having the other mom say or imply, “Well, I have never had those problems.”
I was talking to a friend about this the other day. We’ll call my friend Sally.

Sally has 2 kids, and a very involved husband. Her neighbor, who we’ll call Jane, has 3 kids, and her husband works out of town, sometimes for weeks at a time.
One day, about 3 months ago, Sally was having a really rough day with the kids. They wouldn’t take their naps. They were whiny and temperamental. She wasn’t feeling great, which just made their actions grate on her nerves a bit more than usual.
Jane happened to call, and asked how Sally was doing.  Well, Sally told her. She said, “I’m done. I’m at my wits end with the kids, and I don’t know how to make it through the rest of the day. I honestly don’t understand how you can deal with 3 little ones with your husband gone so much! How do you do it?”
Sally was looking for understanding; for a compassionate word; for some advice, or even just a listening ear. Instead, Jane replied, “Oh, I just love being a mom. My kids are so good, I guess I don’t ever feel like you do.”

Let's Be Real: Choosing to be genuine, supportive & uplifting in our relationships. Great for all moms to read!
In that moment, not only did Jane close the door on what could have been a moment where these two moms could deepen their relationship, but she left Sally feeling like a screw-up mom… like she didn’t love her kids enough!
Several weeks ago, Jane brought up that phone call to Sally again, and said how she was feeling extremely desperate at that point in time, like she couldn’t go on. This left Sally feeling confused and frustrated. 
Why, when given the perfect opportunity to share their struggles, would Jane have instead belittled Sally?

I’ve dealt with similar circumstances, and walked away wondering why there has to be a competition between mothers, instead of support?
One of my goals, as a wife, mom, friend, person, is to be genuine. I may say things that are a bit unorthodox sometimes, but I will be honest with you. Motherhood, and parenting in general, is hard.

I want to support and uplift other moms, to come alongside them and help them bear their burdens.

I want to be for others what I hope others will be for me. A bit of the Golden Rule in mothering, I guess. I challenge each of you to consider your words when you speak to other moms (and to everyone you encounter, really). Is what you’re saying uplifting? Is it supportive? Will it help that other person get through their rough times, or will it exacerbate their problems?
I hope that you will join me in trying to be a better friend, and choose to be genuine in your relationships.
Meet Jamie

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Don’t forget to pin!Let's Be Real: Choosing to be genuine, supportive & uplifting in our relationships. Great for all moms to read!


Thursday 25th of July 2013

Being real. Being raw. Building relationships.

So delighted to meet you. I hope you don’t mind if I splash around a bit to get to know you. This looks like a refreshing place to dip into some serious goodness.

I would love you to share this post! A group of moms gather each week. I usually post on Mondays, but missed it this week. I start jotting a few notes and then others join in. You can post whenever, doesn’t have to be anything new, it can be a gem nestled in your pages. I get the filled to the brim momma schedules.

Just moms. Sharing our notes. Creating a melody.

Be blessed,Sarah

Jamie H

Friday 19th of April 2013

Keri, I'm so glad you stopped by! Thank you SO much for being honest and admitting that this was something you struggled with. I truly feel that unless we are intentionally choosing to be genuine, being fake will creep back in-- it seems that being catty and putting others down come naturally to us women, but we CAN overcome that!

Keri at Growing in His Glory

Friday 19th of April 2013

This is my first time visiting your site, and it's lovely!

This post resonates with me because I am a lot like Jane, or at least I used to be. I've learned in the last few years that pretending to have it all together does nothing to build up my sisters in Christ. What does God call us to do? Ephesians 4:29 says "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

I have been trying hard to use words that help and encourage when in the presence of others because, like you said, I need others to do the same for me. The Golden Rule. That is a surefire way to make new friends. Vulnerability is HARD but necessary.

Thanks for this gentle reminder. I'm a new follower.

Keri :)

Jamie H

Wednesday 17th of April 2013

Thanks for the kind words! I don't know why, but I just couldn't get these thoughts out of my head, and felt like it was important for me to write this post. I'm glad it resonated with you!

The Faithful Homeschool

Tuesday 16th of April 2013

Your post pulled at my heart strings... how true! Thank you so much for inspiring and reminding me to always BE REAL!! Blessings to you!